Three Things NOT to do After a Good First Date

Matchmaking is incredibly rewarding. To hear “you’re so good at what you do” or read a text that says “Bulls eye!” right after a client’s first date gives us goose bumps.

Even though we’re very thoughtful and thorough when we introduce people to each other, there’s really no telling if both people will feel a spark. It’s completely elusive…and intoxicating. So when it does happen, people are really excited to see the other person again and they sometimes forget a few basic nuances.

Here are three ways singles can get tripped up after a good first date:

Having unfair expectations.

Most people lead very busy lives. This doesn’t change after they meet you. Even if there’s serious chemistry, they still have responsibilities, deadlines, friends, family, booked vacations, etc., that need to be looked after. People tend to make snap judgments though. We’ve heard: “It will be another two weeks before she can meet me for a second date; she must not be serious about dating”. Or “I left her a voicemail and she texted me back. She must not be interested”. Or “she’s leaving for vacation for a few weeks; what’s the point of a second date when I won’t see her for awhile?”

They. Had. A. Life. Before. You.

If there’s a spark, you’re halfway there. Give someone the benefit of the doubt and try not to take things so personally. Just because timing is initially a challenge doesn’t mean that someone is not interested or playing games.

Forgetting to Feel More and Think Less.

There’s a lot of over thinking and snap judgements on first dates. Decide NOT to decide if you want to have a relationship with the person after the first date. You’re only there to learn about someone new and share a bit about yourself. At the end of the date, ask yourself one question: ‘How did I FEEL being with this person?’

And if you’re unsure, explore.

(A second or third date just means you’re intrigued by the person and want to discover more).

Overlooking their date’s sense of timing.

Chemistry doesn’t always hit both people at the same time.

Sometimes the spark can be slow to show up for one person while the other person feels it immediately. Usually this creates a bit of neutrality in the person who’s not sure but they have committed to a second date to see if things can grow. Be tenacious! We’ve facilitated and encouraged many “neutral” first dates that have turned into beautiful, long-lasting relationships.